All About Quotes: QUOTES ABOUT HUMOR

"Look at me! Look at me! Look at me NOW!

It is fun to have fun. But you have to know how."

~Dr. Seuss

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"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."
~Kurt Vonnegut

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“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

~Groucho Marx

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“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

~Voltaire

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"Look at me! Look at me! Look at me NOW!

It is fun to have fun. But you have to know how."

~Dr. Seuss

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"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."

~Kurt Vonnegut

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“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

~Groucho Marx

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“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

~Voltaire

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“I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles and punch them in the face.”

~Jarod Kintz

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“Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.”

~Jarod Kintz

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“Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with marbles.”

~J.K. Rowling

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“And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders.”

~Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

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“Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”

~Rick Riordan

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“I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe its relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one?”

~Jarod Kintz

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“I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.”

~James Patterson

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“Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.”

~Groucho Marx

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“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.”

~Oscar Wilde

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“She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.”

~C.S. Lewis

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“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”

~Terry Pratchett

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“Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.”

~Mother Teresa

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“You forget, darling. I am the local psychopath.”

~Kelly Armstrong

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“1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them.”

~Kurt Vonnegut

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“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

~Mark Twain

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“Some people have lives; some people have music.”

~John Green

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“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING,

said Death.

JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”

~Terry Pratchett

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“Lawful good to lawful evil!" said Simon, pleased.
"He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons," said Clary. "Ignore him.”

~Cassandra Clare

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“If you want some advice—which I'm sure you don't—you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks you're moving in on Lissa."
"What?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Doesn't he know my heart belongs to you?"
"It does not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've told him."
"You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better."
"If you touch me," I said pleasantly, "I'll provide you with the opportunity to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd see how badass you really are.”

~Richelle Mead

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“I don't mean to be rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.
"Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often," Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.”

~J.K. Rowling

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“I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.”

~Jarod Kintz

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“She'd also called me brave...unless she was

talking to the catfish.”

~Rick Riordan

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“You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

~Coco Chanel

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